Crazy making . . .

3 May

I am still waiting on scan results. I had the scans a week ago. My oncologist ordered the scans nearly a month ago. I have been in a fog, limbo, haze, etc. ever since. I can’t sleep, can’t keep much of anything straight lately. Let’s see . . . I ran out of gas (got stranded) last week, lost my keys on multiple occasions, locked myself out of my house several times, have driven to the store only to discover I do not have my wallet, have attempted to refrigerate items that do not require refrigeration, have forgotten to pay bills, etc.

I know . . . we have all done some of these things. But, this is different. This is all happening seemingly constantly, throughout each day. It has been going on for weeks. Those around me most have definitely taken notice and are concerned (or perhaps just really annoyed). I think my “out-of-it-ness” is probably due to stress (waiting for the scans to be approved, having the scans, waiting for the results) and lack of sleep.

So, I am back to list making like I had to do constantly during my treatment induced fog. The trouble is that you can make a list, but, it does you no good if you forget that you made a list. Ugh.

The waiting is crazy making. It is difficult to concentrate or focus on anything. I feel so adrift and not myself. But, things will become clear at some point and hopefully it will be good.

My Mom and Dad are having a really hard time with the waiting also. This is so hard on them.

Thank you for your messages, continued prayers and positive thoughts. Please keep my parents in your prayers too.

Love and peace,


One Response to “Crazy making . . .”

  1. Shelly Haas May 3, 2011 at 5:44 AM #

    Hi Lisa,

    Stress induced lack of focus can sometimes increase the sense of stress and loss that started things. There are vital oils in a fresh spring of Rosemary, Basil and Lavender that have been linked with clarity and focus. I grow them, use them in cooking, make a tea or just chew on them when I am at my personal tipping point for stress. I hope that could help you too. Praying for good news on your scans.

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