Sometimes you just have to have ice cream . . .
Yesterday I had scans (a chest CT and a bone scan). I am now waiting for the test results. Obviously I am hoping that all is well and that I get good news.
It took three attempts to get a vein that would take the injection for the bone scan. It is frustrating and uncomfortable. But, it is what it is. Unfortunately, my veins do not seem to want to cooperate.
I have learned through some recent reading that Tamoxifen damages your arteries and veins. Lovely. Chemo damaged my veins (so I am told). But, I was also told that over time my veins would heal. If Tamoxifen is causing damage, then I wonder if my veins will get a chance to heal up.
I guess I am worrying about things that I should not worry about. I just have a hard time not thinking ahead, not thinking about the “what ifs”. What if I need more treatment and my veins won’t cooperate? You can drive yourself crazy thinking about what ifs. And, I will be the first to admit that I can dwell on what ifs.
A friend of mine took me to my appointment yesterday. And, my parents also came and met me there. My Dad had an appointment pretty near by. But, he also had students that he postponed in order to stick around and be with me for part of my afternoon. It was so sweet of my parents to do this. But, it is par for the course . . . it is what they have done from day one . . . they have always been there for me, always. I am so grateful for them. And, grateful for my friend today too. She drove a long way to pick me up, spent the day with me and drove me back home. We managed to fit in a nice lunch, an ice cream that I am not supposed to have (but, wow, did I enjoy that ice cream – Dairy Queen, vanilla soft serve cone, dipped in chocolate . . . a little piece of heaven from my childhood) and some window shopping.
My parents coming and my friend being with me changed the entire day. I would have been in tears I think over the three attempts to get the IV in. It seems so stupid to be that weak. But, there is something about it, I feel fragile and kind of helpless when I watch my vein infiltrate when they try to push fluid in and then they pull it out and move on to try the next vein and so on. I can’t help but wonder what happens if and when they run out of veins.
But, when I walked out of there and back to the waiting room and saw my friend smiling and my parents clearly reassured by her presence, well, it made such a difference.
I don’t know what my results will be. I am worried. But, hopefully I will get good news. I am just very grateful for today, for my family, for my friends and for everyone’s prayers.
Oh, and I am also thankful for Dairy Queen.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Much love and peace,
Lisa
cancerfree2b 
Lisa, We all struggle with those allusive “what ifs.” I’m glad you had your friend and parents there with you. And as one just finishing up my son’s Dairy Queen birthday cake, sometimes, as you said, you just have to have (and enjoy) ice cream! Yum…
Hope you get good news!
Dear Nancy,
Yum, those ice cream cakes are great!
Thank you for your message. 🙂
I am impressed that you are taking on a 10k soon. Good for you! I look forward to hearing about it!
XOXO
Lisa
I am glad you had some comfort in your day today. I love the ice cream too 🙂 I have a secret to let you in on….Coconut Bliss ice cream is not cream…it is coconut and oh so delicious you wont even know the difference. Your scans will be beautiful! That is what I am focusing on. XO! Sending love and healing vibes your way. You’ve got another one in your corner fighting the good fight.
Hi Laura,
Thank you for your message! So there is a Coconut Bliss ice cream that does not have cream in it? That sounds great! I really don’t eat ice cream much . . . for the same reasons I avoid all dairy . . . because the cancer I had was ER positive and so I try to eat foods that do not contain estrogen. I also try to keep sugar down as much as possible, keeping it to sugar that I consume through fruits rather than anything else. But, I did enjoy that ice cream cone 🙂
I so appreciate your message and your sending good, healing vibes my way. Thank you so much!
XOXO
Lisa
Praying and sending good vibes for clear scans…
Love,
Sandy
Dear Sandy,
Thank you, as always, for your continued prayers. I miss you. We should get together soon!
Love,
Lisa