Thursday . . .

21 Oct
Pastinaca

Parsnips - these are going into my stew 🙂

Well, I had two straight days without a headache. But, now it is back. Dang. It just wears me out. I am really getting tired of this whole thing. This roller coaster ride started 20 months ago. For the past 20 months, I have been in some kind of physical pain every day, it is just a matter of degree. I don’t like to focus on it. It is somehow harder now as I realize that there just simply is not some bright line date where it is “over”. I am still recovering from my last surgery, so I know I should not presume that this is how it is going to be . . . eventually I will be healed from the surgery and that will certainly account for some improvement. But, I am so sore all of the time, my bones ache and I am told that is likely from the chemotherapy. And it may not improve. So annoying. I am, was anyway, a very active person. Right now, just doing the simplest things wear me out. I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for a vegetable stew that I want to make. I found a slow cooker recipe for a root vegetable tagine – it looks very good. Anyway, by the time I got home from the grocery store, I was too tired and in too much pain to do anything.

I am sure my energy level and pain level (God, I hope so) will improve. It just has to as this is really not such a great way to live. I hate this so much, hate writing it, hate feeling it. I have not had a normal nights sleep since my first surgery back in August of 2009. I am hoping that with physical therapy (which I am supposed to be able to start in the next few weeks) that this will improve. Right now I can only sleep on my back. The trouble with that is that my arms do not lay flat, or, I guess it is my shoulders actually (in particular, my right shoulder) that does not lay flat when I am on my back. So, it is painful to lie down, but, obviously necessary. I try to prop my shoulders and arms up with a pillow so that laying on my back doesn’t force my shoulders back in a painful way. But, inevitably I move in the night and so I am never asleep for long.

In the scheme of things, this is nothing. Nothing compared to the months of chemo and radiation. But, somehow, this stuff is harder for me to take now . . . maybe it is because I expected things to be over with by now, maybe I expected to be better, feel better and to truly be able to get back to my life. I am having doubts about working full days. I want to, I need to . . . but, things like cleaning out my refrigerator are too physically taxing . . . clearing off my desk (which I so desperately need to do) is too physically demanding. I have to make choices throughout the day . . . do I do this or do I do that? Because I know that either one will leave me in need of having to go back to bed for a while. I am SO sick of my bed.

Well, I am sure things will get better. I am just getting a bit fed up and I am feeling pretty impatient I guess. Maybe that is a good thing. I don’t know.

Wish me luck 🙂

Oh, and here is the recipe for the Root Vegetable Tagine . . . I am going to add organic beets to this recipe . . . I will let you know how it turns out 🙂

Slow Cooker Root Vegetable Tagine

Ingredients

  • 1 pound parsnips, peeled and diced
  • 1 pound turnips, peeled and diced
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 1 pound carrots, peeled and diced
  • 6 dried apricots, chopped
  • 4 pitted prunes, chopped
  • 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
  • 1 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
  • 1 tablespoon dried parsley
  • 1 tablespoon dried cilantro
  • 1 (14 ounce) can vegetable broth

Directions

  1. In a slow cooker, toss together the parsnips, turnips, onions, carrots, apricots, and prunes. Season with turmeric, cumin, ginger, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, parsley, and cilantro. Pour in the vegetable broth.
  2. Cover, and cook 9 hours on Low.

Love and peace,

Lisa

One Response to “Thursday . . .”

  1. Sally October 21, 2010 at 6:35 PM #

    I think it IS a good thing that you’re impatient with the slow progress of recovery–it surely is understandable.
    When you can’t sleep well, everything is affected. And always being in pain, I can’t even imagine. But don’t give up, Lisa. You will get better and all this will be only a bad memory. You have my love and prayers.
    Sounds like a good combination of veggies, dried fruit, spices and herbs.
    Blessings,
    Sally

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