Pity party coming to an end :)

17 Sep

Regarding my previous post: Yeah, well, I thought I might regret blogging after four am . . . ugh. Delete, delete, delete . . . 🙂

This week has been rough I guess. I don’t do well with the whole pain and physical limitations thing. I am definitely not good at that at all. Add no sleep on top of that and it is prescription for a very bad mood, and, apparently, feeling sorry for myself. Let the pity party begin, I guess 🙂

No. I am here, I am not dead and I AM getting my life back. It is funny though, how sometimes I am simply overtaken with a sense of mourning over this whole thing. Most days are not like that at all. Maybe it is the headaches I have been having the past couple of weeks straight. Headaches are scary. Prolonged headaches mean scans and scans mean waiting for someone to tell you everything is okay . . . or, God forbid, everything is not okay.

So, once I get a headache it is very easy to have it linger for days and days . . . simply the worry of what that headache means can give you a headache . . . do you see how ridiculous it can get? Ugh.

So, I got a couple of hours of sleep this morning. Not enough. But, tonight I will definitely get some sleep. Melatonin here I come. And, maybe something for the pain that keeps me awake. I hate taking pills. But . . . I need to sleep.

So today I am going to try to get into see a doctor about my right side and arm. I am wondering if it is lymphedema perhaps. I hope not. But, it kind of seems like it could be. And, to think I might have caused this by going for a run a few days ago and continuing to run even after it was hurting. The running thing, it is very compelling . . . it is one of the things that when I can do it, it makes me feel well again, makes me feel like I am not sick, wasn’t ever sick . . . so it is something that I feel I need to do if I can. But, I think I did it when I should not have . . . the timing works out that way . . . I have been in pain ever since I ran . . . so, probably should not have done that. I don’t know what I was thinking, I could have just gone to the gym and rode a stationery bike and avoided having any impact at all.

Well, things will get better I am sure. Things are already getting better . . . I am one day closer to getting to surgery. YAY! 🙂

Love and peace,


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