Surgery on Monday . . .

13 May

So last night I was cleared for surgery. That is a good thing. The bad thing is that I am not ready yet – I do not have caretakers lined up (not for me or my dog), need to clean, do laundry, shop for food, etc.

And, unfortunately, now I can not drive. I am in some pain now after the problem with the right expander. I can’t really do a lot of the stuff that I need to get done before surgery. It is a bit of a drag. Even the Costco run I was going to do is off – I can’t drive there myself and pushing a gigantic Costco cart around isn’t much of an option either. Last time I had everything laid out before surgery. Things were organized, set. But, now? I don’t even feel close being ready.

Everyday has been hijacked for the past couple of weeks – first the normal pre-op stuff, then hassles with my landlord (including yesterday), hours of phone business – all medical stuff, and most recently this rupture of the expander in my right breast (or whatever it is that you call this structure on my chest, I wouldn’t say I have breasts, but, don’t really know what else to refer to it as, lovely, I know).

I just keep losing every day to unplanned, unforeseen hassles. Yesterday was taken up with getting cleared by a cardiologist and also trying to figure out what happened to my right side. It wasn’t until 8 pm last night that I learned from my surgeon (not my reconstructive surgeon, but, my general surgeon) that I did not need to go into the emergency room, that I could/had to wait to see my plastic surgeon the next day (now today).

So, now today, I will seem my plastic surgeon to figure out how to proceed with surgery (surgery was supposed to be on the left side only – they can only do one side at a time because of the type of surgery I am having and the radiation that I had). Now that the expander has to come out and be replaced – I am uncertain as to what will be done on Monday. Probably she will go ahead with the reconstruction on the left and then a temporary deal on the right. It is definitely not what I wanted, nor what my surgeon wanted for me. Anyway, again, today is another day that I hoped to take care of pre-op errands that is now lost to medical.

I also HAVE to finish a timeline that my attorney needs to assist him in proceeding against my landlord. This is all so crazy. I am not even working, yet, I am working all of the time.

Another thing that changed as of late yesterday is that I now need caretakers for a longer period of time (not that I have anyone lined up yet anyway). I had only figured on needing help for about a week after surgery, since I would still have use of my right arm (since I was not having surgery on the right side). But, now it is pretty likely that I will have surgery on both sides, leaving me, like after the mastectomy, unable to use either arm for a while.

I am so frustrated by this. It is so limiting and, it is painful.

So, I am pretty upset right now. But, what can I do? I just have to somehow figure it out.

My landlord sent two workers over today to take out the illegally installed dryer vent that was put in on my patio. The workers moved my patio furniture and all of my plants (including three hibiscus trees) to do the job. They left without putting any of it back and so now I am stuck with this messy patio that I can not physically clean up. So rude.

Okay, I guess I have complained enough for one day. Sorry, I am just in pain and very, very frustrated that I can not physically just do the things that I need and want to do to get my space and myself ready for surgery.

Ugh!

Much love,

Lisa

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