Wake Up Call . . .

Yesterday I went down to Main Street in Seal Beach, was looking for a place where I could get a shot of wheat grass (supposed to be good for me). It was a pretty day, but, I didn’t notice it too much. I parked at the beach, breeze blowing strong, fresh ocean air. I walked down Main Street and found a juice bar fully stocked with wheat grass. The guy behind the counter, Gary, asked me what I wanted. I thought, hmm, to be cancer free . . . oh, right, you want me to order a drink . . . got it.

I have been in my own surreal fog lately. Overwhelmed, overcome . . . over having cancer.

Anyway, I asked him for the largest size wheat grass he had. “Four ounces”, he told me. I told him I would take it. He asked me if I wanted a lid so I could take it home, and with a funny look he asked me if I was “going to drink it all now?”

I guess four ounces is a lot of wheat grass . . .

I told him yes, all now. And, to explain, I told him that last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer, that I was having the wheat grass because it is supposed to help create an “anti-cancer environment” . . . blah, blah, blah 🙂 (There is all kinds of stuff out there about eating an alkaline diet, low fat, low sugar, high veggies – in particular – lots of greens). I figure I might as well, right?

Anyway, he said something to me that really kind of shook me a bit. He said, “Wow, you must really appreciate every day then.”

Wow. Stopped me in my tracks. I of course said, “Yes, yes I do, definitely.” And, just as I was saying it I recognized that I was not appreciating every day . . . and, that lately, I had not appreciated very many days at all. Which is not like me. But, I have very much unappreciated cancer. And, that is how I let cancer hijack my life . . . for a little bit, anyway.

There is always the treatment hijacking, the surgery hijacking, the recovery hijacking. But, lately, I had let the in between times get hijacked too. Not good. I know how it happened . . . I just haven’t been feeling well. But, with the not feeling well came discouragement, and to my shame, loss of hope. I can not do that.

So Gary of the juice shop on Main Street – thank you. I will be back to see Gary and to get his wheat grass (now that sounds a bit saucy . . . that is not how I mean it though 🙂 )

I mean to appreciate every day, or at least as much as possible, in between the hijackings 🙂