Wake Up Call . . .

26 Mar

Yesterday I went down to Main Street in Seal Beach, was looking for a place where I could get a shot of wheat grass (supposed to be good for me). It was a pretty day, but, I didn’t notice it too much. I parked at the beach, breeze blowing strong, fresh ocean air. I walked down Main Street and found a juice bar fully stocked with wheat grass. The guy behind the counter, Gary, asked me what I wanted. I thought, hmm, to be cancer free . . . oh, right, you want me to order a drink . . . got it.

I have been in my own surreal fog lately. Overwhelmed, overcome . . . over having cancer.

Anyway, I asked him for the largest size wheat grass he had. “Four ounces”, he told me. I told him I would take it. He asked me if I wanted a lid so I could take it home, and with a funny look he asked me if I was “going to drink it all now?”

I guess four ounces is a lot of wheat grass . . .

I told him yes, all now. And, to explain, I told him that last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer, that I was having the wheat grass because it is supposed to help create an “anti-cancer environment” . . . blah, blah, blah 🙂 (There is all kinds of stuff out there about eating an alkaline diet, low fat, low sugar, high veggies – in particular – lots of greens). I figure I might as well, right?

Anyway, he said something to me that really kind of shook me a bit. He said, “Wow, you must really appreciate every day then.”

Wow. Stopped me in my tracks. I of course said, “Yes, yes I do, definitely.” And, just as I was saying it I recognized that I was not appreciating every day . . . and, that lately, I had not appreciated very many days at all. Which is not like me. But, I have very much unappreciated cancer. And, that is how I let cancer hijack my life . . . for a little bit, anyway.

There is always the treatment hijacking, the surgery hijacking, the recovery hijacking. But, lately, I had let the in between times get hijacked too. Not good. I know how it happened . . . I just haven’t been feeling well. But, with the not feeling well came discouragement, and to my shame, loss of hope. I can not do that.

So Gary of the juice shop on Main Street – thank you. I will be back to see Gary and to get his wheat grass (now that sounds a bit saucy . . . that is not how I mean it though 🙂 )

I mean to appreciate every day, or at least as much as possible, in between the hijackings 🙂

2 Responses to “Wake Up Call . . .”

  1. Sandy March 26, 2010 at 9:30 PM #

    Isn’t it funny how the universe provides us wake up calls when we need them? Good for you for recognizing it!

    So what does wheat grass taste like, anyway? My last bunny, Shiloh (who you took care of for me while I took the bar exam) loved the stuff. Of course, she ate hers still in plant form, not juiced.


  2. cancerfree2b March 29, 2010 at 10:22 AM #

    HI Sandy,
    First of all, please forgive me for not calling back this weekend. I had some phone problems. I still want to go to Super Mex, so let’s get that arranged. I know it is late notice, but, maybe dinner tonight? I will give you a call this afternoon (I am going to see Dr. Z. at 2:30). But, should be free this evening. Tomorrow is another Herceptin treatment . . . and, if all goes well, I only have one more to complete the year of treatment. Pretty amazing. Tomorrow will be the completion of 51 doses (some were given weekly and some in three week doses, as you know). I am supposed to have a total of 52 one week doses or 17 three week doses . . . hey, maybe I CAN do math??? 🙂


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