Noodle Clarification and Good News from My Surgeon

Hello All,

Just a bit of clarification – the “noodle” I am trying to find is one of those pool toys, it is a long cylinder shaped floating toy that is made out of some kind of styrofoam or foam – it floats, they come in different colors . . . I think it is called a noodle. Anyway, that is what I am looking for. Unfortunately, these seem to only be for sale before and during the summer. My physical therapist – who is wonderful – wants me to get one to use in my physical therapy. Anyway, if you have a pool, you may have one of these lying around and if so, maybe I could borrow it until I can by my own on the open market? Maybe there is a noodle black market?

I know, I am being very silly. It is the combination of a lack of sleep (for many weeks now, only getting an hour or two per night) and feeling very optimistic about my prognosis and well being (despite the fact that I have two surgeries looming over my head). Still, I feel the cancer has left. I believe it is gone. I’ve been through chemo, surgery (where they took out what cancer they could see that was still remaining after the chemo did its work), radiation and Herceptin treatments for nearly a year now. And, as my surgeon (who I saw yesterday) said, when I was asking her about chances of recurrence etc: “I think you’ve had enough cancer, I think you’re done with that now”.

I will write more about my meeting with my surgeon later. It just takes too much energy to do right now. But, let’s just say it went very well, the news was very good and she was extremely encouraging. Contrast yesterday’s meeting to my first meeting with her about a year ago where she basically told me (because we didn’t know yet how advanced the cancer was – only that it was of a very aggressive type) that the best thing I had in my favor was that I was young and strong and that this was what was going to give me the best chance of survival . . . and that yes, it was possible the cancer could kill me.

It was a horrifying day last year. We didn’t yet know if the cancer had gone elsewhere and as a result I was either in the category of having a disease that could be cured or could be “treated”. The latter would mean treatment for the rest of your life – simply to stay alive.

But, after many tests, it appeared that the cancer had not spread to any other organs and so I was in the first category – having a cancer that could be cured. And then the fight, which continues today, began. And, my life will never be the same – I will always be a cancer soldier, vigilante, dedicated – and not just to my own battle but, to help others do battle. I feel that now this is my lot – to forever be a cancer soldier. But, I am so grateful that it was caught early enough to be curable. I will never know, I suppose. I will always have tests.

But, to see her yesterday and compare yesterday’s meeting with our first meeting nearly one year ago – well, I am blown away. Blown away by how much time has passed, how much work has been done and how far I have come. To go from that incredibly solemn, frightening (horrifying, really) first meeting one year ago to yesterday’s appointment, laughing and joking about my cancer – laughing and joking about anything for that matter, well, it was just surreal, and . . . very uplifting to be on this end of things. I still have a lot to do. But, I know that I can do it.

And, I have (as I have always said) every intention of surviving this disease. I am going to kick cancer’s nasty, little butt!

Please keep up those prayers!

L.